Friday, November 20, 2009

True Power: What do you believe? Part Two

What do you believe about death?

What do you believe about life?

What do you believe about choices people make and their right to make them?

We spend a lot of time out of our lives being angry or upset at other people for choices they make that have little to do with us. The anger or upset usually comes from worrying about them, feeling fear that someone we love will do something that will hurt them, cause them pain and suffering, maybe even kill them.

Love always wants those we love to be happy, healthy, and safe. That's the nature of love, isn't it? We want the best for our loved ones. And when we observe them doing things that aren't in their best interest, we react. We feel fear, sadness, concern, anger. And because we don't have control over our loved ones' lives, these emotions can seem uncontrollable, too. Often, those uncontrollable emotions evolve into anger at those we love for the choices they've made.

In the Craft, as in many Nature-based spiritual paths, there are several potential explanations of why we're here and why we do the things we do. Common among most of them is that we, like all of nature, are born, die, and are reborn in some manner, over and over again. Perhaps the cycle is endless, but most teaching I've encountered says we continue until we've reached some pinnacle in our development that allows us to escape the cycle. Life presents us opportunities for growth. If we fail to "get it" the first time, life just keeps presenting the lesson until we do. I've seen that pattern play out as truth in my own life more often than I like to admit.

If we truly believe this way, how can we be angry when someone fails a lesson, even repeatedly? Understanding that people learn from experience and in their own time does nothing to lessen the sadness we feel watching them, or the fear for their safety (which is, at its root, fear for our own potential loss). But such understanding can keep us from tipping over into bitter anger that eats at our own spirit.

Anger hinders compassion. It masks the true emotions from which it arises and blocks love. Yet, it is only through love and compassion that we have any hope of helping those we love. By examining what we really believe about living, dying, and the choices we make in the process, we have the opportunity to examine our truest emotions. Looking at what we really feel in each situation lets us take responsibility for our feelings and deal with them appropriately. We learn to sit with our true feelings, to allow them to be without allowing them to consume us.

Anger has its place...but that place is much smaller and less frequent than it may seem. Spend time with yourself and your own beliefs about life, death, and personal choices. Whatever you believe, understanding and owning that belief will help you on your road to peace.


  1. My personal beliefs follow the:" keep coming back until you learn what ever it is you need to learn", and that you stay as long as you have something left that you need to do. But when my mother lingered long belong her capabilities to do anything but lay in a bed as her mother did before her, I came to a personal "opinion" that maybe we are not just here for ourselves, but maybe we are here so someone else may learn what ever it is they are missing in their lives. We can be a selfish race, I learned that I am not just in it for me. I learned that what we are and who we are may actually be benificial to someone else. I also learned that apologies don't undo damage, but forgiveness not only undoes the damage, it heals and it teaches.

  2. I know for me, anger is a dangerous "feeling". When it comes to my sobriety... anger is the worst emotion I can harbor.
    I always tell myself when I'm angry at someone... it's only hurting me.. It's like me drinking the poison hoping the other person dies...

    I often ponder death, for me it's very private, and a very spiritual step into the next realm. And with my loved ones.. I try to be very careful as to what my parting words are to them... whether I'm going to the super-market... or saying "Good -Bye" on the phone... I ALWAYS tell my children "I love them".. and the few other people I cherish most... I choose my words carefully... you just never know.

    Linda... thank you, again. You've opened my heart so I can explore my feelings...

    May the God/dess bless you.

  3. @Cerridwyn "...apologies don't undo damage, but forgiveness not only undoes the damage, it heals and it teaches." There is so much wisdom in that statement. The healing is done inside us, not in the actions of the wrongdoer, no matter how sincere they may be in their apologies. That's why forgiveness is so necessary, so powerful, for us to move on past the hurt and into freedom. Thank you for singing along here...I hope you join the choir often!

    @Saulamaye "...You've opened my heart so I can explore my feelings..." That, dear friend, is all I can hope to do. I don't know much, but what I do know is that each of us has to do the work, the questioning, the searching, for ourselves. If sharing my experiences and perspectives starts or deepens someone else's introspective work, that's the best reason in the world to continue. And I, in turn, am spurred to deeper consideration from your comments and those of others. It's all good. :) Thanks, as always, for lending your lovely voice to the choir. I'm so happy you reappeared in my world!

  4. Saulamaye, That is a powerful analogy: Anger is like me drinking the poison hoping the other person dies..."

    That says it all!

    Thanks all of your for sharing!


Sing with me...