Religion and Politics Do Not Mix

These are not my words; they are my thoughts. I could not have said them better myself.

Religion and Politics Do Not Mix
By Yvonne Perry

You may have been taught in school that America was founded upon Christianity, but proof of such is not reflected in the writings of our founding fathers. In fact, the first six American presidents were actually opposed to the doctrine and dogma of Christianity.

Would you refer to prejudice and premeditated murder as Christian traits? One of our forefathers was so prejudiced against the American Natives that he once described them as "having nothing human except the shape" and as "a beast of prey." Known as the "Father of our Country", President George Washington was known as "The Town Destroyer," and "The Killer of Women and Children" among the Onadaga Indian People whom he and his militia killed in cold blood. Did good ol' George (who couldn't tell a lie) believe this country was founded upon Christian fundamentals? Washington is quoted as saying, "The United States is in no sense founded upon Christian Doctrine."

John Adams, the second President of the United States, had little use for religion when he said, "The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity."

Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence "found not one redeeming feature in orthodox Christianity" and added:

Christianity------the most perverted system that ever shone on man. ------Rogueries, absurdities and untruths were perpetrated upon the teachings of Jesus by a large band of dupes and imposters led by Paul, the first great corrupter of the teaching of Jesus. The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and the freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.

Jefferson also called for limitation on the power of the Government, and was an advocate for the separation of Church and State.

James Madison, fourth president of the United States, thought no better of religion when he said: During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment known as Christianity has been on trial, and what have been the fruits, more or less, in all places? These are the fruits: pride, indolence, ignorance, and arrogance in the clergy. Ignorance, arrogance, and servility in the laity, and in both clergy and laity, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.

Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States, was no doubt a religious man who is remembered as a Christian President; however, some say Lincoln was a skeptic of Christianity. He is quoted as saying, "The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma." His views did not change during his political career. He was later noted to say, "My earlier views of the unsoundness of the Christian scheme of salvation and the human origin of the scriptures, have become clearer and stronger with advancing years and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change them."

After Lincoln's assassination an American author and the editor of Scribner's Monthly named Dr. Josiah G. Holland wrote about Lincoln's religious views:

"------He believed in God, and ------believed himself to be under his control and guidance. ------This unwavering faith in a Divine Providence began at his mother's knee, and ran like a thread of gold through all the experiences of his life. His constant sense of human duty was one of the forms by which his faith manifested itself. ------He recognized an immediate relation between God and himself, in all the actions and passions of his life. He was not professedly a Christian-that is, he subscribed to no creed-joined no organization of Christian disciples. He spoke little------of his religious belief and experiences; but that he had a deep religious life, sometimes imbued with superstition------."

Perhaps Lincoln recognized the difference in spirituality which is our connection and relationship to our Creator, and religion which is the very thing that attempts to separate us from one another and our Creator.

Aside from presidents, other founding fathers of notoriety agree that Christianity has little merit when it comes to governing a nation of people. When Benjamin Franklin was asked about his religion, he said:

As to Jesus of Nazareth, I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with the most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts to his divinity. ------ I do not perceive that the Supreme takes it amiss, by distinguishing the unbelievers in his government of the world with any peculiar marks of his displeasure.

Deism is a seventeenth- and eighteenth-century religious philosophy and movement prominent in England and the United States. Deists normally reject supernatural events and divine revelation common to organized religion. Disregarding holy books and religions that affirm the existence of such things, deists support religious beliefs must be founded on human reason observation of the natural world which reveal the existence of a supreme being. Deist Thomas Paine had a strong opinion about religion:

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. ------Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.

The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States is part of the Bill of Rights which prevents legislature that establishes a national religion by Congress or that prefers or supports one religion over another. The First Amendment reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." This part of the First Amendment is sometimes referred to as "the separation of church and state" which means that the state or national government should be kept separate from religious institutions.

I doubt the Ten Commandments were posted in courthouses during the early days of U.S. history. Our founding fathers proposed the First Amendment and rejected Christianity as a ruling factor in government and political issues. After being ruled by a government which tried to synchronize the beliefs of the entire population, they were fed up with being told what to do and what to believe. They wanted religious freedom. Today, we as citizens still want religious freedom, but there can be no religious freedom when one religion controls the masses through government. Yet, this is exactly what has occurred in our nation. Religious groups attempt to control the government by imposing laws that decide what a marriage is, what can be grown in our backyard and what medical research can be federally funded.

Every time a law is passed that gives jurisdiction over what happens in a person's home, marriage, healthcare or religion, we lose another personal right that was assured in the laws used to found our country. It's time to stand up and vote against bills and amendments that take away the one thing our founding fathers did have in common-freedom from religion.

Works Cited:

The Encyclopedia Brittanica, 1968, p. 420

http://www.theramp.net/kohr4/HEROES.html

http://afgen.com/church2a.html

http://www.biosfear.com/archives/000165.html

http://www.discord.org/~lippard/state-press-19860429.html

http://thewaronfaith.com/ff_franklin.htm

http://www.wwnorton.com/college/history/ralph/workbook/ralprs24b.htm

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and the owner of Writers in the Sky Creative Writing Services (WITS). She and her team of ghostwriters are ready to assist you with writing and editing for books, eBooks, Web text, business documents, resumes, bios, articles, and media releases.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Perry
http://EzineArticles.com/?Religion-and-Politics-Do-Not-Mix&id=368311

The Perfect Family

What is the perfect family unit? Western culture has firmly embraced the notion of the one-man-one-woman-plus-children as the ideal family, the one to which we should all aspire. Is it? Is that the family you grew up in, the family you live in now? Is it the family of your friends, neighbors, relations?

In "The Perfect Family is a Myth", Cornell University anthropologist Meredeth F. Small suggests that our narrow definition of family is not universal nor is it historically true. She makes the point that, even in a Western culture that idealizes one family model, families that actually conform to the model are rare.

How do you define "family?" Is there an ideal family unit? Does your family fit that ideal?

Among my own family and our circle of friends...my husband and I have children from previous marriages, one of whom lives with us, the other two with their mother. Among our friends and relatives are single parents, childless single women and men, married and unmarried committed couples of various gender pairings, with and without children, and a triad or two. Each of their families are filled with love, laughter, conflict, challenges, sadness, support, and every other aspect of family life. We also refer to our spiritual group as family and share enormous love and support within that group. My husband and I have had many conversations about the concept of line and group marriages. We both embrace, at least on a philosophical level, an idea of family beyond the limited Western definition, yet even we struggle at times with long-held beliefs and norms.

What about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on what makes a family. The definition of family in our society is changing whether we talk about it or not. Dialog gives us an opportunity to participate in the change, not sit dazed and confused on the sidelines watching the landscape shift. This kind of social evolution can be a long, bumpy ride. I don't know about you, but on a trip like that, I like to drive.

Gay Rights - Newsweek Poll Results

I don't get it.

More Americans than ever, a pretty clear majority if a recent Newsweek poll is any indicator, are in favor of granting gays and lesbians virtually all the legal rights associated with marriage, but not allowing them to get married. Read the full poll results to see the numbers.

Actually, I do get it.

It's the same issue I've railed about in previous posts. We have allowed the word marriage to be defined in a religious context. That definition has become so ubiquitous that people who favor granting gay and lesbian couples all the legal rights associated with marriage through civil union can't take the final step and say, "Yeah, let them get married."

Let them inherit property...have visitation rights...adopt or use assisted fertility and have children...make them eligible for dependent insurance benefits...just don't let them get married. All the legal rights and responsibilities currently granted through legal marriage are fine; only the moral definition of marriage, a definition rooted in religion, is still holding up the show.

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And a really bad precedent.

What about divorce and remarriage? Many Christian sects teach that divorce is against God's law except in cases of adultery, and some teach that it's wrong in any case. Shall we decide then, that divorce is illegal? What if we held a vote and your marriage to your current or perspective spouse hung in the balance while other people decided if it was moral or immoral?

How about procreation? There are those who teach that marriage and sex are primarily for procreation. Why don't we vote on whether birth control is moral enough for America? And while we're at it, let's make marriage between partners who can't have children illegal, too, since they can't fulfil the true purpose of marriage.

So if you're a post-menopausal woman and meet the love of your life, you can have a civil union but don't try for a wedding, 'cause we're not standing for it. If you've been divorced and meet someone new, go ahead and live together and we'll sanction it legally so you can have insurance and stuff, but we reserve the right to maintain our moral superiority and smug self-righteousness intact by not calling it marriage because America is a Christian nation.

Wait a minute...what did I just say? America is a Christian nation? When did we get a state religion? When did we ratify a Constitutional Amendment and adopt an American morality?

Oh...that's right...we didn't. My bad.

No. It's bad, but it isn't mine...and I'm not going to stop talking about it until we get over it.

My Twitter Addiction - the #whoandwhyifollow post

I am a Twitter junkie.

There, I've said it...and I'm not ashamed. Twitter is just about the coolest tool on the web right now (among the ones I've tried so far; the web's a big place and I haven't gotten around to all of it...yet).

What makes Twitter so twittalating? Short (140 characters or less), frequent posts about whatever you're moved to share, and some Twitterific people! Some are purely social; some are marketing products or services; the best share freely of themselves, their knowledge, and their view of the world.

Now @David_N_Wilson and @SarahJL have started an avalanche of shout-outs to the Tweeters, Tweeple, TweetiePies...well, you get the idea...the people we enjoy most on Twitter. In the spirit of share the wealth, here are my favorite people in the Twitterverse. To keep from making a 20,000 word blog post, I've restricted myself to just a few. I enjoy everyone I follow on Twitter for one reason or another; these are the ones with whom I've made an extra connection, professionally, socially, spiritually, or all of the above.

Without further ado, here's my #whoandwhyifollow list:

@SarahJL - "I'm a Twin Cities Radio DJ, Voiceover coach & Belly dance teacher and performer. I love my husband @QuantumGood, our cats & spiritual freedom!" Who wouldn't want to follow Sarah? She's fun, smart, talented, and has a wide range of interests that she shares freely. Her blog rocks, too!

@firehorse_ij - "Cubicle dweller, voracious reader, slightly neurotic" Another smart, funny person; we share a professional interest in training development and an enjoyment of commercials that say something so unexpected and out of place that you spew coffee out your nose. She blogs, too.

@writersinthesky - "Published author, writer, editor, podcaster, owner of WITS Creative Writing Services. Gardening, marketing, stem cell research & spiritual discussions." Yvonne uses Twitter to market her writing services business, to promote causes she's passionate about, and to share her knowledge with others. Her website is cool; her blog about writing is informative and a good read.

@markdavidgerson - "Speaker, workshop leader, creativity coach, spiritual mentor and award-winning author of The MoonQuest & The Voice of the Muse: Answering the Call to Write" Mark is inspiring! I've never met him, but even his 140-character Tweets give off a gentle, caring vibe. Check out his website, too.

@Judith12 - "Neither artist nor poet. Quasi-retired. Oft reclusive. Seasoned. Wiccan. Innkeeper. Equity: stage manager." I disagree with Judith's profile; she IS both artist and poet. She paints little 140-character word pictures of her beautiful home every day and I just love them! Judith is one of the first people I found (or who found me) on Twitter and I'm glad.

@DatingGod - "health freak, world phreak, parttime recluse, shamanic healer, writer, earth mama, bee-hybrid, couch tuber, will tweet for organic red wine . . . " Cool writer chick with a great blog, a wicked sense of humor, and a beautiful "Yes!" approach to life. I haven't forgotten that I owe her a response to something she asked of me a long time ago and hope she hasn't given up on me! Check out her very personal, very interesting blog.

@deaconblues1982, @NPMMDad, @rickbaldwin - Three very interesting gentlemen. Deacon's a personal friend, NPMMDad and Rick Baldwin are local guys. They're all smart and funny. Deacon and NPMMDad share day to day thoughts and life; Rick Baldwin posts short, funny quips all the time...nothing earth shaking or of any real importance, but witty and fun.

There you have it; my Twitter A list. Everyone I follow on Twitter brings something good to the party, and I enjoy the whole shebang. If you're not on Twitter, I recommend it. Just be aware - it's habit forming.

Happy Tweeting!

Not a Poetry Lover...and Yet...

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. -Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)

I am by no stretch of the imagination a student of poetry. A large portion of the poetry considered worthy of study in my school days was filled with obscure references and imagery I had no frame of reference for. Teachers weren’t satisfied with how the poem affected me or what I thought it meant. No, there was a right answer that most often lay somewhere just outside my vision and grasp. Having to work that hard just sucked all the life out of the art for me.

Ah, but there were a few, a rare collection of poets and poems that did touch me. Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Carl Sandburg and, later, Maya Angelou, Langston Hughes, Rabindranath Tagore, and Rumi, penned words that could have come from my own mouth, my own heart, or made real for me an experience I can never know first hand. They wrote poems that offered immediate recognition, like being reunited with old friends. My husband has that magic, too; several of his poems paint images more faithful to the truth than any camera can capture. And my Master List of Influential Poets wouldn’t be complete without the songwriters whose lyrics have been my constant companions for so many years…Lyle Lovett, John Prine, Paul Simon, John Mellencamp, Neil Diamond, Melissa Etheridge, J. D. Souther and other alchemists who made gold out of words and rhythm and fire.

The poems and songs that move me all begin in delight and end in wisdom. They delight with rhythm, a cadence and flow that lives and breathes with the words. The poems I love best can be read out loud, the meter echoing the heartbeat of the message. I delight in the sound and the words and the imagery all the way to the end and then there comes the wisdom…the resonance, the fire and passion and soul of the poet, the emotion, the experience. It’s like eating delicious oats, eggs, butter, sugar, walnuts, and raisins…and getting a warm cookie. What a gift it must be to have that magic!

Today, in honor of the many poets who have enriched my walk so far and the many more to come, I’m sharing one of my favorites with you. It’s hard to choose just one. I consoled myself with a reminder that I can always share more later. I invite you to share your own favorites, too, in comments. We’ll create our own mini-anthology.

From Gitanjali, by Rabindranath Tagore:

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy
through the dust of the earth in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked
in the ocean-cradle of birth and of death in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life
and my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

Which comes first - the smile or something to smile about?

Another amazing video from Nik Askew, lifted once again from Luminous Inspirations (thanks, 2Da1, for your beautiful posts!).

What a beautiful smile this woman has! She exudes grateful, heartfelt joy and reminds us that, "I'll see you tomorrow..." isn't always true. We don't have tomorrow. We hope to have it. We plan to have it. But it's not a given.

Watch...enjoy...and smile.


'smile' from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

Fun at Home

Grow some fun at home today with the people you love. You have all you need to raise a bumper crop of laughter and lasting memories that will be sweeter, more nourishing, and juicier than anything you can cook up elsewhere.

I was sitting at the dining room table tonight making Yule cards (see the pictures below), listening to the sounds of my husband and two of our daughters watching a movie in the other room. Their laughter was beautiful! We've done a lot of things together as a family, but nothing comes close to the fun we have at home.

Speaking of fun, I've been growing some of my own the last couple of days. I'm no graphic artist, but I'm an avid doodler and love to make my own greeting cards. From the time I was old enough to hold a fat crayon, I've gotten giggly, giddy enjoyment out of stacks of colored paper, scissors, glue, and bright, shiny pens. What fun! Here are some of my off the wall creations, nothing award winning - just homegrown fun at its finest. And since most fun is better shared...I'm sharing. Enjoy!







Photos by Autumn Heartsong. "Good Times" greeting card copyright Autumn Heartsong. 2008.

Energy, enthusiasm, and engagement - and LIGHTS!

Check out this amazing holiday light display on Sarah Jones-Larson's blog, What a Wonderful World.

Richard Holdman has created this dazzling, computer-controlled, wind-powered, synchronized lights and music show for several years. His efforts have raised more than $10,000 for Make-A-Wish. His gated community voted last year to close the gates during the holidays because of the traffic, but he had little trouble finding volunteer hosts and the show goes on.

It really is worth a look. The videos are short and they will make you smile! Mr. Holdman has even created an FAQ and some do-it-yourself tips and a behind-the-scenes tour.

Thanks to Sarah Jones-Larson for sharing so many examples of what is truly a wonderful world!

Wise Old Owl

I was running through some photo archives this morning and ran across this one. I took it almost exactly one year ago when the owl made a rare daylight visit to a tree just outside the building where I work, right in the heart of downtown.

Owls are associated with wisdom in many cultures, and with death and dying in some. Greek, Native American, and Celtic mythology are filled with references to owls. What is it about the bird that creates such powerful connections?

Owls appear to be silent watchers. With eyes focused straight ahead and 360 degree field of vision, they observe without speaking. With faces that don't show expression (at least not that the majority of us would recognize), they appear detached, remote, just watching, waiting for the right moment to snag a meal or move along to avoid danger.

I supposed we all recognize on some level that observation is one of the keys to wisdom and that talking all the time doesn't leave much room for observing. It's possible we even recognize that, no matter how much you observe, much of it doesn't require comment. There have been many times in my life where I would have been wiser to remain silent!

Maybe our younger self knows, too, the wisdom of detachment. We are all connected, all made of the same stuff, and yet we all move and live and operate separately. We have an enormous amount of influence and very little control over all but ourselves. Maybe the owl teaches us to know the difference.

To not use our influence where we can is cowardice; to attempt to control what is not ours to control is madness. Wisdom is in knowing one from the other, acting with skill and courage where we can, and gently detaching from those things that are not ours to change. I think Owl might have been influencing the original author of an old Mother Goose rhyme:

For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.

May we all have the courage to exert whatever influence we have for the good of all, and the wisdom to let go of what is not ours to control.

In My Own Words, From Henry Miller's Mouth

How many times have you read something so profound, something that resonates with truth so deep and sure that you know you could have said it yourself if you could have found the words?

I ran across just such a quote today by author Henry Miller. Ironically (or maybe by Divine plan), the quote is about that very thing:

Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he gets desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up to discover what is already there.

My wonderful 3AC Writer's Guild sisters and I were talking last night about the voices in us that still ask, Are you really a writer? What makes you think you have anything to say that anyone cares/needs to hear? Your work doesn't sound anything like his/hers/theirs. How can you be a writer? Those voices try so hard to drown out the one true voice inside, the one that knows, the one that aches to be heard.

Today I'll be brining a turkey, baking biscotti and shortbread, and making a last-minute grocery run for tomorrow's feast. I'm setting my intention right now to listen and observe and let my true voice speak without censorship or reservation. I think I'll carry the camera with me, along with a pen and notepad to record the dozens of things I see each day and want to write about. And in my kitchen, I'll light a candle for myself, my 3AC sisters, and everyone whose tender shoots have ever been stifled from lack of faith.

The Perfect Score: Thanksgiving - 1, Gratitude - 364

Why do we only have one day a year set aside for giving thanks? I used to ask that question and often said that every day should be Thanksgiving. But I've changed my mind. I think one Thanksgiving Day is enough. What we need more of are Gratitude Days.

Thanks and Gratitude are related but they're not the same. Thanks is the daughter of Gratitude, and the granddaughter of Awareness. Along with her sister, Humility, Thanks is the natural descendant of the true gran dames of a rich, joyous life.

When we say "thank you" for something, we are acknowledging a gift, a blessing, a current state. It's a nod to the universe that says, "Yep...I got it...and I know it's good." Giving thanks is a good thing - the right thing - to do, but the real power comes from gratitude.

Gratitude is a state of being, the result of awareness, and is the doorway through which the gifts and blessings we are so thankful for enter into our lives. To be grateful is to be open, to choose an arms-flung-wide-in-wonder way of walking through the world, open to experience, to receiving all there is to feel and do and know.

A beautiful website, Gratefullness.org, refers to gratefullness as, "...the simple response of our heart to this life in all its fullness," and adds, "The practice of gratefulness moves us in four directions: It restores courage, inspires generosity, reconciles relationships, and has the potential to heal our Earth." (Please visit Brother David's website and learn more about what Gratefullness.org is doing to move the world in those four directions.)

Gratitude starts with awareness...not filtered awareness of "the good things in our lives," but full awareness, without judgment, of All There Is and our place among that All. When we practice conscious awareness, we see the world differently. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." When we choose to be aware of All, All opens up to us, and we are the recipients of more gifts than we could possibly imagine. Grateful eyes see beauty everywhere.

I think the score is perfect. One day set aside to practice thanksgiving is enough...as long as we spend the other 364 days each year practicing gratefullness. In the words of Dag Hammerskjold, "For all that has been - thanks. For all that will be - yes."

Here's to one day of, "Thank you!" surrounded by 364 days of, "Yes!"

7,000 beautiful words...

...pictures from recent weekend jaunts. Nature saves her finest garments each year for the next to-last-dance...then does the last one naked and unashamed. Enjoy these photos from her all-dressed-up dance!









Photos by Autumn Heartsong; 1 - 6, Little River Canyon, Alabama, USA; 7, Cloudland Canyon State Park, Georgia, USA

I am a good citizen of the world when I ...

...support the rights and work for the benefit of everyone.

This country will not be a permanently good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a reasonably good place for all of us to live in. -Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President (1858-1919)

Well said, Mr. President...well said...change "country" to "world" and you're dead on target.

Everybody’s Got a Right…

…and we keep them or lose them together.

All the buzz around gay marriage has been a catalyst for debate and has sparked Americans everywhere to think about the issue and figure out just where they stand. That’s good; we need to be shaken up now and then. Unfortunately, most people are so focused on the specifics in this debate that they’re missing the real issue.

It’s not about gay and lesbian marriage. It’s about personal and spiritual freedom and the separation of church and state.

I’ve written about this issue before, but today I saw a quote that very eloquently captured the real heart of the matter, the thing we should be talking and writing and shouting on the street corners about.

I protect my right to be a Catholic by preserving your right to believe as a Jew, a Protestant, or non-believer, or as anything else you choose. We know that the price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that they might some day force theirs on us. -Mario Cuomo, 52nd Governor of New York (b. 1932)

That’s it. That’s what should have us all standing up and saying, “Enough!” The stakes in this game aren’t whether same sex couples can say, “I do!” At stake here is whether or not we will legally allow the religious beliefs of one group to determine the rights of every citizen. And the very people who are most adamantly opposed to the gay marriage issue are among the most religious people in this country. They’re the ones fighting the hardest to win when they have the most to lose.

When we protect the rights of anyone, we protect the rights of everyone. And if we allow the rights of any individual or group to be taken away, we chip away at our own.

“…the price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is they might some day force theirs on us.”

Those who oppose gay marriage on religious grounds are attempting to force that opposition into law. The same thing is happening with abortion laws, stem cell research, and how we teach science, literature, and sexuality in our schools.

People are taking a frighteningly shortsighted view. They believe they’re winning when they get their way. Look further down the road; what damage can be done by the precedent we’re setting? Winners and losers can change places in a societal heartbeat. You may be thrilled to defeat the gay marriage issue now, but what issue will come up next and whose beliefs will win that one? What if your cherished morality becomes unpopular? Are you willing to put your spiritual path up for vote?

I’m not. And I’m going to keep talking about it as long as I have a voice. I hope you’ll add your voice to mine and to all the voices already speaking up about the dangerous erosion of personal and religious freedom. It’s a bigger, scarier issue by far than having two grooms on a cake topper.

A View of the Mountain - Autumn in my Life

Looking out my kitchen window this afternoon, I caught the first glimpse of White Oak Mountain in the distance that I've seen since late March, maybe early April. In spring and summer, the trees completely block the mountain view, so much so that you wouldn't know the mountain was there if you didn't know the area.

Not exactly earth-shatterng news, is it? Trees shed their leaves every fall, graceful branches standing naked and unashamed, revealing sky and views hidden when they're all decked out in foliage. What struck me as I was looking out that window was how the trees and the mountain view were mirroring my own life right now.

I'm 52. My birth daughter is days away from 28, and my two step-daughters will soon be 20 and 18. The nature of my role as Mom has changed dramatically in the last few years. My baby girls are now beautiful young women, quite self-sufficient most of the time, and are actively pursuing their own interests. There are spaces in my life now that used to be crowded, spaces that reveal views I've missed for a long time.

I've reached the early autumn of my life and the leaves are falling. As those leaves drop away, the me that I used to know when I was a child is coming back into view.

I like her. She's creative, thoughtful, a writer and a photographer with an eye for beautiful things and a desire to share them with others. She's smart and she has a sense of humor She loves to cook and likes to eat, sometimes too much (some things never change). And she's learned a lot of things through her life's spring and summer, stories and lessons and memories that beg to be told, so she writes daily and loves it.

My friend and fellow writer Sitara says, “Give me an eight-spoked Wheel and I’ll show you the wisdom of the world.” She's so right. I can feel the Wheel turning, through the day, through the year, and throughout my life. The wisdom is found in paying attention, listening, and staying in synch with the Wheel.

I'm paying attention as the leaves fall and the views are revealed, some familiar, some new. Unlike the seasons, my own life is not infinite. My wheel will eventually stop turning. Time is short and I'm going to enjoy every vista along the way.

Bittersweet Progress

I received the following story in an email from a cherished friend and heart sister this morning. She and her nine year old son, Bo, had taken a walk in the woods near their home, woods they both love. Her story touched me deeply. I have tasted bittersweet progress and know that Cherie is right - sometimes you can't go back.

Thanks, Cherie, for allowing me to share your poignant words with my readers. May your tiny seed of life grow tall and strong and safe.

Many things in life are bittersweet, but one of the hardest for me is the loss of the wild places. Urban sprawl fueled by greed is quickly shrinking them in the name of progress.

Bo and I decided to take a walk in the woods behind our house yesterday. We made our way behind into the woods and onto a small path made by cows in another time. The sun came through the canopy of reds and yellows, its rays dancing off of the leaves and lighting up the leaf strewn floor of the forest in a magical way.

After walking for a few minutes, we started to see signs that people had recently been though the woods. There were blue ribbons tied around trees; other, smaller trees had been hewn down with a machete or small axe. Then we came to a clearing.

We could see that earth movers had widened the path, uprooting and mowing down everything along the way. We followed the path to a clearing. What was once a lush meadow now contained a tractor trailer loaded down with cut trees. We skirted the rig and continued along the path, now a wide swath of devastation running through the woods. We followed the path upwards, and as we crested a hill, stared in horror at the scene in front of us. Acres of wood had been cleared of all vegetation. What remained was dry clay and rock.

“I want to go back” Bo said, sadly. His words hit me like a thunderbolt: sometimes you can’t go back.

We turned around and walked back into the woods. We lingered there for a while, capturing as many trees as we could on film. We passed a young maple, whose leaves seemed afire with glorious bright red. “Come closer” she seemed to whisper. I made my way through the underbrush towards the tree. As I adjusted the lens of my camera to capture her brilliance, I saw something I had never seen before. Hanging from her branches were bright green spiky seed pods, the kind that turn brown and children throw at each other during recess.

Before we left, I plucked one seed pod. “Thank you” she whispered.

When we got home, we planted a seed pod. We will watch it grow and tend it in honor of what was, and what is.

Life continues.

In The Life of Another

Extraordinary video by Nik Askew...might we not all have an impact on the life of another?

I got this from Luminous Inspirations, a wonderful blog by 2Da1. Visit and see all the inspirational, moving, uplifting pieces collected there!


'in the life of another' from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

Marriage, the Law, and Doing the Right Thing Twice

Did you happen to catch Keith Olberman's Special Commentary on the passage of Prop 8 in California? It's passionate, articulate, bordering on brilliant. I can't figure out how to share it directly in this blog so please click on the link to watch.

I cannot be silent on this issue. Like Mr. Olberman, I'm not gay nor is anyone in my immediate family. But this isn't just a gay issue. It's a human issue, universal and timeless. And unless we keep the momentum headed toward positive change, it will remain a universally unfair, unjust, and just plain wrong issue.

My stance on this issue is simple and straightforward:

Marriage should be defined by federal law, consistant in all states and territories, and should consist of a set of binding legal agreements to which applicants agree and are held accountable. The government should not get involved in defining the relationship or who can participate. As long as all parties meet the legal requirements (primarily age and the ability to contract), government has no responsibility and no right to place any further restrictions on the arrangement.

If faith-based organizations want to further define the relationship according to their beliefs, so be it. As precedent, the Catholic church has long refused to recognize marriages that don't meet the requirements of the faith, even when those marriages are perfectly legal from a civil perspective. The consequences of the Church's approval or disapproval are only relevant to the practitioner from a personal, spiritual standpoint. Any religious institution should be free to use whatever moral compass they possess to decide if they and their god(s) approve of the union, but they should have no say in the legal aspects.

Here's how I get there:

Legal marriage in the United States is first and foremost a property agreement. Under our current system of employer-sponsored health care benefits, it also provides a consistent framework for determining who can be considered a dependent for the purposes of insurance coverage. It establishes a next-of-kin relationship wherein spouses have first and final say in certain health care decisions, hospital visitation rights, and so forth. And there are tax provisions for married couples to lessen the tax impact on two income families.

Nothing about legal marriage as it is currently defined has anything to do with relationship, love, comittment, or morality. It has to do with legal rights and contracts. And nothing about those legal rights and contracts has anything to do with the gender or orientation of the participants. People of the same gender are just as capable of fulfilling all the obligations inherent in legal marriage as are one-man-one-woman couples.

Where we've gone astray is allowing the religious definition of marriage - specifically the mainstream Christian definition - to creep into the legal definition. We have abandoned the constitutional principal of separation of church and state and given that power over to religion. Shame on us!

Interestingly, that influence seems only to have gone so far as to restrict who is allowed to participate. It hasn't done anything at all to enforce the other ideals of Christian marriage. The government doesn't care one bit whether people who apply for a marriage license have been married before, as long as they've fulfilled the legal obligation to divorce. There is no government mandate that individuals share the same faith, that they love, honor, cherish, or respect one another. Marriages of convenience or for economic considerations are common. The only absolute requirements are that the couple be of legal age, not currently married to someone else, and that there be one man and one woman.

The age requirement makes sense from a legal standpoint; binding contracts require that parties be of legal age. Not being married to someone else is debatable, but the argument can be made that allowing multiple partners would require rewriting estate law among others, so I'll concede that one temporarily even though it, too, is a moral judgement. The one for which I can find no sustainable argument whatsoever is gender.

Why? Why does the government care who enters into the agreement? Why do we insist on denying the legal rights of marriage to anyone who is willing and capable of agreeing to the terms of the contract? We let anyone with decent credit and income buy a house, a contract that lasts longer than most marriages. When you strip away the moral fru-fru attached to marriage, what's left is no different than any other contract. If you can buy a house without a genital check, why can't you enter into a marriage contract without one? From a legal standpoint, the government has no business checking genitals for a contract that has to do with property and taxes.

As important as this issue is to gays and lesbians who wish to enter into legal marriage, it's even more important in the bigger picture. If we allow religious beliefs to shape government policy, we will eventually be a religious state. Notice I said we. America is a democracy and we are responsible for blurring the line between church and state. If, in fact, the majority of people support something so clearly unconstitutional, we have lost our own compass. We're giving up our rights as we wander blindly, thoughtlessly accepting what has seemingly always been. Every erosion of that all-important separation erodes the ability of each of us to choose our spiritual path and live it without fear.

I support the right of every adult in this country to marry whomever they choose. If I believed it morally wrong for same sex couples to marry, I would still support their right to do so. It harms no one and the disapproval of it is based solely on religious beliefs which, under the Constitution of the United States, are not to be imposed by governement. In protecting the rights of gays and lesbians to marry, we're protecting our own rights to worship and live as we choose.

It's doing the right thing twice, a double good too important to be quiet about.

I don't want to be a groan up anymore!

I'm tired of being a groan up! Yep...I'm done. From now on, all my groan up activities are banished from my life and I'm going to be a grin up.

I've been a groan up for a while, so this is going to take some work. I'm making a list of groan up traits I want to get rid of. It's a work in progress, but for starters:

Groan Up: "[groan]Another Monday...back to the grindstone!"
Grin Up: "Whoohooo! Monday's here! I survived the weekand and I still have a job!"

Groan Up: "Time to get up already? [groan] I just laid down!"
Grin Up: "Is it time to get up and play yet?"

Groan Up: "It's five o'clock and I've got to make dinner...again. [groan] Maybe we can order pizza."
Grin Up: "Hey,it's almost time for dinner. Maybe we can have pizza! I love pizza!"

Groan Up: "The car looks like crap. [groan] Didn't I just wash it last week?"
Grin Up: "I've got a car! And look at all the fun places I've been!"

Groan Up: "[groan]I hate my job!"
Grin Up: "I've got a job!"

Groan Up: "I look and [groan] feel so old!"
Grin Up: "Hey, look at that - I'm still above the dirt!"

Groan Up: "[groan] What now?"
Grin Up: "What's next?"

Want to be done with your groan up life? Join me! Comment with your groan up/grin up lists! Leave your Twitter ID and link in the comments and I'll Tweet your lists, too. The world has enough groan ups - let's start something!

Come on...grin up, already!

Stop the perfecution!

Oh, the power of a typo now and then!

I read an email post by my friend Raventalker today about perfection and our obsession with it. The subject line read was "Perfectuion." With the addition of the mistyped letter U, my mind read, "Perfecution," and I thought, "What a GREAT word!"

There are areas of my life wherein I'm anything but a perfectionist. There are other areas where my desire...some would say obsession...with getting it "right" all but paralyzes me. I become my own worst enemy, persecuting myself for failures large and small, real and imagined...anything short of perfection. "Perfecution" is the "perfect" word for the act of persecuting oneself for lack of perfection. I'm adopting it immediately!

Along with my new word, I'm adopting a renewed committment to not "perfecuting" myself so much. Perfection is wonderful as a goal; it pretty much stinks as a standard. Gratitude is being able to accept and enjoy what is, as is, without reservation. That includes me. I am enough.

Thanks, Raventalker, for both the wisdom of your words and the unintended gift of one little typo - a small imperfection that led to the perfect word and a perfect reminder to see the world - including myself - through grateful eyes. Grateful eyes see beauty everywhere.

Ups and downs...

...on the road of life.

Yeah, I know...couldn't be cheesier if it was melted over a pizza...but sometimes truth is cheesy. There's a reason phrases become cliches. Words that capture truth resonate with us; they encapsulate something complex into a compact package we can wrap our minds around. In the best of times, my life resembles the ups and downs of a mountain road; at other times, it's been more like a roller coaster. In any case, the photo made me smile and the cheesy cliche holds true yet again.

My husband and I spent the weekend with friends at a cabin on Lookout Mountain. We hot tubbed, ate too much, and took time to enjoy the most beautiful fall I can recall since childhood. My friend Peggy and I took a scenic drive and hiked up and down hills, over rocks, and across No Trespassing signs to get better views, leaving me with sore thighs, good pictures, and great memories.

As good as the weekend was, I found myself a bit overwhelmed on Saturday night. Even the best of sounds - good music, honest conversation, and the laughter of friends - can be too much if delivered in an unbroken stream, and by Sunday morning, I needed to recharge my batteries.

I rose before everyone and took a walk, enjoying the cold and the gentle morning light. Finding my way into the woods, I was invited by a centuries-old rock to have a seat, and for a half hour or more he and I enjoyed wordless companionship. Have you ever felt a rock's pulse? It's slow...deep...like a throbbing, basso profundo wave that begins imperceptably and rises gradually so that you're not aware of when it starts or stops but you feel it. And if you sit long enough and listen with all your senses your own energy rises and falls with the wave and your thoughts slow down... slower... deeper...until finally you're heart and breath and mind are humming with the rock and all else fades to the background. When the press of time once again quickens your senses and you rise, you realize that the rock, while aware of you and maybe even grateful for your company, is not diminished or troubled by your arrival or your departure and will be right there when you come back.

And if, like me, you find yourself without anything to offer in thanks for that most precious gift except the grateful tears on your face and the wordless song rising in your throat, you tilt back your head and sing to the rock and the morning and the light and leave your song behind as an offering, knowing without a doubt that it was heard and welcomed and remains for the next person who comes to draw strength from the rock, to be heard not with the ears but with the heart.

I hope they'll sing along.

Good morning, America!

Good morning, world!

I am 52 glorious years old today and celebrating a brand new morning in America. How cool is that?

"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were." - Barack Obama

Last night, I watched as the votes, includine mine, were tallied and Barack Obama became the next president of the United States. I listened to John McCain, a man I admire and respect even though I don't want him running the country, give a gracious, energizing, and unifying concession speech. And I watched Barack Obama speak to the country - and the world - from his heart, with fire and passion and conviction. I cried and clapped and chanted with all the happy people in Grant Park:

Yes, we can!

We did.

And now we must.

The election was the easy part. Barack Obama is an inspired and inspiring man, but he cannot transform this country alone. It's not his to transform. America is all of us. We have to be the ones who put an end to the poisonous name-calling, the fear-mongoring, the talk-radio inferno that whips up anger and resentment and fear-based reactionary rhetoric that small-minded listeners play in an endless loop until they're enraged over imaginary evils.

Stop listening to that junk! Stop! Turn it off! They are not nice kids and you can't play with them anymore. They're greedy show-biz folks who are willing to rot the country at the root to make a living. Blech! Ack! Phooey! Spit! Yuck!

To fill the silence when the radios are turned off (not that all silence needs to be filled), let's make happy talk. Let's talk about getting along, getting together, and getting things done. Let's talk about how we can all prosper. Let our conversations be about what we can do that really matters. And let's talk to - no, with each other. Bring back real conversation and listening skills. Hear what your neighbor is saying, feeling, doing. Pay attention. Engage.

Finally, I leave you with this from Rabindranath Tagore, the most beautiful prayer I can think of for a post-election morning in America:

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action --
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

So mote it be!

My eyes look to the west...

...to the crossing of Madelyn Dunham...and the sad, human drama of Barack Obama's loss. I have a candle burning for all who loved Madelyn Dunham, and particularly for Barack and Michelle Obama. The weight of such a loss and the fatigue of a long campaign must seem a burden too big to carry. They will carry it, of course, and I will hold them in my heart as they do. May they find comfort often. I cannot help but believe that Madelyn Dunham will choose to stay around at least until the election results are in. Would you want to miss that? When she's ready, I hope Mrs. Dunham crosses gently and peacefully to whatever awaits her.

Our eyes look to the west today...sail smoothly and rest well, dear lady. Well done.

If you haven't voted yet...

...go now! Go! GO!

I will turn 52 years old tomorrow, and this presidential election means more to me personally than any of the other eight since I've been old enough to vote. Maybe that's not a good thing...maybe I should have been more involved all along. I've paid attention, cast my vote, but I've never felt such a visceral connection before.

What's different about this one? Well there's the obvious...a black American running an impossibly close race for President of the United States. The smart, strong woman who gave him one hell of a run for his money in the primary. Eight years of recent history screaming for change. A female vice presidential candidate who some say was selected because she was female. The polarizing issues of faith-tinged politics that leave me feeling queasy and fearful. Environmental concerns...an economy in turmoil.

Yes, I'm engaged in this election...for all the reasons above...and maybe because of the shifts happening in me, too. I've felt myself riding the line between Mother and Crone for a while now, and I am definitely moving to the Crone side. There's a certainty in my life that I've never known...a more convicted stance on issues. I struggled with politics all my life because issues have so many gray areas. I still see the gray, yet I find myself taking stands and speaking up in ways my younger self wouldn't have.

Why is that? Do we just get crankier and more likely to take positions as we grow older? Have we finally learned enough to feel more confident in our opinions? Or do we carry some crazy I've lived this long so you have to listen to me because I've earned it nonesense?

While I like to believe I've picked up some wisdom along the way, I think the real reason for the change in me is a lot simpler. I'm running out of time. At 52, I have most likely lived well more than half my life. My remaining years will see a (hopefully slow) decline in physical, maybe mental, ability. If I'm going to affect positive change in the world during this lifetime, I've got to get on it...now. No more waffling on issues, no more fence-sitting. There are still gray areas, lots of them, but it's time to quit waiting for clear black or white answers and throw in with the closest gray on hand. Let's get the job done and worry about perfecting it later.

So, yeah, I'm fired up about this election. I've already voted, my first early voting ever. I'll be watching the results tonight and I'm fairly confident I'll be celebrating tomorrow. But I promise, whether I'm celebrating or shaking my head and asking, "Why, America?"...I won't stay in either state for long. There's too much work to be done.

To everything a season...

Mists on the lake, originally uploaded by Heartsong Images.

(Photographed on my way to work early last week)

It was so cold this morning...and for a moment I thought, "I miss summer." But as I drove to work, this sight greated me when I crossed the lake. Every season has its beauty. I don't have summer's warmth in October; but I don't see this in August. I'll take them all, please...everything Nature has to offer...and pray that I can stay in the moment enough to enjoy them.

The color returns...

My mom and I took an afternoon drive today to check out the fall colors. What an amazing sight! We drove up Lookout Mountain to Cloudland Canyon, part of Georgia's excellent state park system. It was a beautiful day with the setting sun playing golden light games all over the canyon.

All the way up the mountain, Mom was squealing...yes, literally squealing...with delight. Mom hasn't had a lot of delight in her life since my dad died almost six years ago. When my oldest brother crossed the veil early this year, the small recovery she had made was yanked out from under her and she fell hard into the dark again. She also suffers from memory loss and has a lot of difficulty with word recall. There are times when loneliness and frustration over her mental confusion combine forces to all but paralyze her.

But today she was happy. She loved the trip up the mountain and enjoyed walking along the canyon rim. For all of her mental struggles, she's strong and moves well for eighty-one. She clambored up and down steps like a pro! She also had company - friends from her church - earlier this weekend, and we dropped in on old friends today before we drove to the park. I don't know if it was the company or the drive or both, but Mom had a good day today. She even wanted to sing together on the way home..."Red River Valley," "Birmingham Jail,", "Summertime,"...she even added a nice harmony to "You Are My Sunshine."

The colors of the seasons are beautiful gifts. Fall leaves always make me smile, but seeing a little color return to my mom's life may just be the best gift yet.

Sign, Sign, everywhere a sign...

...I love this one!

Is there any doubt how this small town feels about firewater? (Thanks to Amy Davenport for the photo.)

Simple pleasures...and four little treasures

What is it about kids and pumpkins? Is there some mystical kinship there, some secret language that alleged grownups don't know that passes easily from the big orange balls to the ears and hearts of children?

I stopped for fresh produce Saturday and was about to leave with my purchase when I saw four tiny tots and two beaming women playing in the pumpkins. It was an instant smile-maker! Little arms wrapped around pumpkins bigger than their whole bodies; tiny feet toddling off in all directions. I spoke to one of the women who told me the babies were quadruplets, her grandchildren and the offspring of the younger woman, who at that moment was retrieving a particularly adventurous tot. Both women graciously agreed to let me photograph the babies for the blog, and I'm grateful. You're looking at two of the four, half of what was a very fun sight indeed.

Just wanted to share the photos and the fun, along with a shot of the colorful corn and gourds that made my eyes so happy. Here's wishing you and yours all the glorious colors of autumn and the wonder of a baby (or four) in a pumpkin patch.

The road to yes

I often have days when my mind flits from one topic to another all day. Today was one of them, and my mental transitions made a funky pattern of twists and turns that left me filled to the brim with gratitude and brought me back here to talk about it. Follow me for a bit and you'll see what I mean...

This morning, I left the house a little late but in enough time to get to work by 8:00 AM. For some reason, traffic was insane today and I ended up getting to work closer to 8:15. It made me think about how easy my morning commute usually is and how what I called "insane" this morning was nothing more than a slight slow-down. People in Atlanta, a mere hour and a half from here, would throw back their heads in maniacal laughter to hear me complain about traffic in Chattanooga on any day. Thoughts of Atlanta traffic removed any desire I had to complain about a little congestion on my way to work this morning.

As I was thinking these thoughts, I watched a driver playing dodge-and-dash, trying to get ahead of the car in front of him, to scoonch up just a little bit more, to get where he was going faster. He passed me on the right, one hand in a death grip on the wheel, the other clutching coffee and cell phone. We ended up stopped at the same red lights and I was right beside him as he made his exit...which is odd because I wasn't doing any of that dodging and dashing, just going with the flow, and I arrived at the same time. I was glad I didn't have to work that hard.

Thinking about working hard reminded me that I had a pretty full day ahead of me. When I got to work, the guy in the next cube greeted me with, "Hey, welcome back!" Not that I'd been away - I was in the office yesterday. He just always seems to have a cheerful good morning phrase at the ready and uses them freely. I appreciate the nice start he gives my day.

Nice...that reminded me of how nice it was to stop by the Election Comission yesterday to do my early voting and not have to wait in line. There were only four people ahead of me. Those four people were elderly; although they moved a little slower, needed a little more time and a bit of help, they were there, making their voices heard in the election process. I felt really happy to be there, taking part with them in an election of so much historical significance. I still remember quite clearly the "Whites Only" signs on the little cafes in town where my dad stopped for coffee. I remember the first time I had black classmates in my elementary school. I have friends my age who, as children, had their houses fire-bombed because their parents were active in the civil rights movement. If I remember that much, what did those beautiful old people remember? How different is our world from when they were young? Regardless of who you vote for, seeing Barack Obama's name on that ballot and knowing that it is entirely possible that he may be the next President of the United States...knowing that he had to fight a hard battle with a female candidate to get that far...has to make you think about how far we've come. We still have much work to do in combating racism, sexism, and all forms of discrimination, but I couldn't help pausing for a moment to just soak it in before I slipped my ballot in to be counted.

Counted...that reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. (Albert Einstein)

I can't help but think when I read those words of just how full and rich my life is with things that really count. I have all I need, much of what I want, and the means to get what I don't have if I'm willing to work for it. I have love, friendship, meaningful work, blue skies, rain, stars, sunshine, babies laughing...everything this beautiful world has to offer. I can slow down and go with the flow. I have a voice in my government and the means and will to exercise it. I have an active, agile mind and I can share my thoughts with you through the miracle of language and electricity and your own intelligent, inquiring mind reaching out, exploring. We may never meet, but you are inside my head and we are engaged and connected.

I think about how grateful I am for all of this and more...and I remember two more quotes by men who must have felt the same welling of gratitude and wonder, and who left their words behind as a gift, a reminder:

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. - Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes. - Dag Hammarskjold (1905 - 1961)

Yes!

The death of the Perfect Parent Plan

Watching my friend help her daughter with her homework takes me back to my own days as a young parent. What an eye-opener that was! I found that my knowledge of parenting was far greater before I had a child. Something about childbirth shook the Etch-a-Sketch on which I had drawn my Perfect Parent Plan.

Yes, I had a Perfect Parent Plan. Doesn’t everyone? I didn’t take it lightly, either. I spent much of my young life observing – no, experiencing – my own parents and making copious mental notes about what I would and wouldn’t do to my children. I conferred with my friends and swapped horror stories of parenting gone awry, adding to my list of pitfalls to avoid. We all agreed that if we could just manage to not do the stupid, mean, insensitive, clueless things our parents did to us, we should be in great shape, raising perfect, happy kids, and sailing into the sunset of parental bliss.

Of course, what we didn’t know at that point is that while we may avoid the major mistakes of our parents (and they really did make some lulus), we would counter with our own original blunders. We could not predict in our teens that in our 20’s or 30’s we would be blindsided by moments of incomprehensible thickheadedness which we would stubbornly insist were the result of our progeny’s shortcomings. We would confer with the same friends we consulted a decade before and reach the same conclusions – it’s not our fault.

My daughter, now 27, is constantly editing and revising her own Perfect Parent Plan. She’s been working on it for at least as long as she could speak. I know this because she’s been telling me about it all along. Unlike some children, my beautiful girlchild was never one to suffer in silence. She made sure I knew what I was doing wrong at every turn. One of her favorite pretend games was the one about having been mysteriously separated from her real parents, the good ones, from upstate New York, and adopted by these misfits from Tennessee. On particularly bad days, she would dramatically rock back and forth, her arms folded protectively (almost psychotically) around her, chanting, “My real parents will come…my real parents will come.” Her friends’ parents fell under her scrutiny, too, and it affords me some small comfort that I was, in general, considered by herself to be somewhat less clueless than most....but not enough to brag about.

Nowadays, she’s in a serious relationship and the noises she makes about having children of her own have taken slightly more serious tones. And as I anticipate becoming a grandparent, I am resisting the urge to create a Perfect Grandparent Plan. It’s liberating to realize that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or grandparent.. My daughter hasn’t come to that conclusion yet, and the entertainment value of the days ahead is promising. It still stings a bit when she tells me, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother!” but not so much that I can’t smile and bide my time, sure in the knowledge that her children will eventually sting her with their own clever catch phrases. When they do, I’ll have the tea ready, speak a comforting word or two, and try hard not to gloat.

Time to pay the piper...

...and it's a bill I'm more than happy to pay!

Thanks to everyone who took me up on my money-for-comments challenge. I've gotten about 15 new comments (some of which were my own replies but I'm counting them anyway!) and will be making a donation to the food pantry of at least $15. Thank you for participating with me!

If you liked anything you read, please come back often. If you didn't like something, come back and tell me about it. The best conversations have a nice balance of, "Yes!" and, "Yes, but...", with a dash of, "You've got to be kidding!" and a sprinkle of, "What? Are you nuts?" Bring it on!

Finally, I leave you today with something beautiful. From Maine to Tennessee, Autumn's showing her colors beautifully. Thanks to my friend Cathy Wardwell for the photo from Maine; the Tennessee shot is from my back yard yesterday morning.

Blessings to all!

Autumn Reflections in Maine


Autumn Morning in Tennessee

Money, Meet Mouth

In honor of Blog Action Day and in the spirit of putting my money where my mouth is, I've got a proposition for you. I'll donate $1 to a local food bank (one where I know personally the people running it and the important work they do) for every person who comments on this blog today. Bring it...I've got my checkbook ready. Make me smile!

I am so rich - are you?

Good morning! I don't have a lot of time to write this morning. It's 6:47 am and I'm running behind, trying to get ready for work. You know the drill...get up in the morning, bathe, dress, find all your stuff, grab some breakfast, commute for 45 minutes to an hour, work at least eight hours, maybe through lunch, commute back, look at all the stuff you didn't do before you left that morning, push it aside, start dinner... Yeah, you know the drill.

Wow! I am SO rich!

There are so many people who don't have a reason to set a clock in the morning, no job to go to...or maybe they have a job that's mind-numbingly dull or back-breaking hard...or one where no one appreciates them...or that doesn't pay them enough. There are parents who work sick and who can't afford to buy medicine...children who go to school hungry...people without health insurance who just don't go to the doctor because there's no way they can afford to pay for it. And there are people for whom all of this is a foreign language because they can't even imagine a world where everyone's work isn't back breaking and where the best you can hope for is enough to eat today...maybe.

Yes, I am rich...so rich I can't count it all. And I feel like a schmuck when I think of all the times I complain about something I don't have. Because let's face it...I don't need anything I don't already have. I'm clothed, sheltered, fed, employed, medicated as needed, and loved. Wealthy beyond my wildest dreams, I tell you, and grateful beyond words.

I registered my blog with Blog Action Day and the topic is poverty. I know poverty intimately; I've been there...not so much financial poverty (although I've seen my share of days with less-than-abundant resources), but poverty of the spirit, the kind that keeps you poor, destitute, and broken no matter how much money you have. And I know that, as odd as it may seem, one of the best ways to break the cycle of spiritual poverty is to act rich...to give away what you think you don't have. Tired? No energy? Do something for someone. No money? Give some away...even a nickle in someone's expired parking meter. Running low on food? Invite a friend to share your sandwich at lunch. For those of us who have so much - and that's just about everyone reading this blog - we have opportunities every day to enrich the lives of others while feeding our own sense of wealth, of gratitude, of enough.

I'm going to hustle my butt up from here and go to work now. We're having a food drive at work and I'm going to take some canned goods to work with me. As I pack each can into the box, I'll add a little blessing. "May you be blessed with riches beyond your wildest dreams."

Just like me.

All is right with the world

As I type the title of this post, I'm aware that all is so not right with the world. There's so much suffering, so much uncertainty, so much pain. How could I possibly say all is right with this world?

And yet...

When I step onto my deck...walk down the steps...feel the dew-wet grass under my bare feet...step into the yard bathed in the glow of an all but full moon shining like a silver coin...when I close my eyes and lift my head and can almost feel the cool, silvery light on my face...when I kiss my hand three times to the Lady and she smiles at me...when I breathe in the night sounds and the darkness and know...know without doubt or hesitation...that I am part of it all...an integral part no less important or perfect than the moon or the stars or the dew under my feet...doing my part as best I can...feeling gratitude bubbling up from my heart to form a lump in my throat...so happy to be alive and awake and aware and at peace...every cell of my body crying, "Yes!"

In this moment...for now...all is truly right with the world.

Filling my days to overflowing...

...and no one to blame (or thank) but me!

Once again, weekend plans are already shaping up to encompass the entire weekend. Dear friends are getting married on Saturday so there's wedding gift wrapping, dressing up, the ceremony to attend, and the reception to enjoy. Sunday, we're hosting another dear friend - maybe two if we're lucky - for early afternoon socializing and dinner. That means spiffying up the house, shopping, cooking...all the good stuff.

And I'm not complaining...really. I guess I'm just ruing the lack of additional hours each week to leave unplanned. Ah, but who am I kidding? There's no shortage of plans waiting for good hours to call their own. More time would just mean more to do.

I suppose the only answer is to consider unplanned time a "thing" in its own right and start planning for it. Sounds a bit convoluted, but I think it just might work. Scheduling some unstructured time every now and then goes on my list of things to do.

I'll have to look into that next weekend. This one's full.

Sufi saying - transforming pain

Sufi saying

Overcome any bitterness that may have come because you were not up to the magnitude of the pain that was entrusted to you.

Like the mother of the world who carries the pain of the world in her heart, each of us is part of her heart and is, therefore, endowed with a certain measure of cosmic pain.

You are sharing in the totality of that pain. You are called upon to meet it in joy instead of self-pity. The secret: offer your heart as a vehicle to transform cosmic suffering into joy.

I saw this on Luminous Inspirations, a great blog I stumbled on today. I love the last line, "...offer your heart as a vehicle to transform cosmic suffering into joy.

What a great concept - offering your heart to transformation. If you believe, as I do, that we are all connected...not just connected, really part of the same whole...then the work I do toward transforming pain into joy affects more than just me. As part of the whole, I affect everyone and everything with my actions. And to offer my heart is an act of will and intent, a conscious choice, and an invitation to the Universe to use me, to take my heart and make it more than what it has been, for the good of All.

I like that.

Waiting for the Happiness Bus

A cross posted bloggerie from Happy By Nature:

Are you waiting for the bus?

Seems there are a lot of folks waiting for the happiness bus to pull up and let them on, for the driver to slow to a stop, open the door, lower the step, waive the fare, and show them to a prime seat. That stop is always crowded with people just waiting for the happiness bus.

Attention, Bus Stop People: Happiness is not a bus. It's a walking trail and it goes uphill, and the only way to get to the top is one step at a time, one after another. Oh, but once you get there the view is unbe-freakin-lieveable! Even better, make the climb all the way to the top and you'll realize that the only thing you left behind is unhappiness...that all you really need is still with you...only it's lighter, easier to carry, great tasting, less filling, 52% more free, and all natural with no unpleasant aftertaste. Drink it up!

I'm happy. I wasn't always, and I remember that misery all too well. I also remember how I got here and I want to share the map with you. If there's a Churh of Holy Happiness, I'm a loud, proud, evangelical member and I can't wait to share this joy I've found!

Am I frightening you? It's ok. Apparently that's normal. I've noticed that among the folks waiting at the bus stop, there's this strange notion that making the decision to be happy means giving up their intelligence, their air of cynical sophistication, their awareness of the crap floating in the world bowl. Some people seem to believe that happiness is just a sweet little euphemism for clueless, that happy people are annoyingly out of touch with reality and anyone who walks comfortably and at peace with this world is obviously unstable.

If you decide to walk this path with me, some of your friends back at the bus stop will talk about you...and they may stop talking to you.

It takes courage to be happy.

You have to find that courage on your own, but I can tell you this: I've never met a truly happy person who was out of touch. They're not always the most educated, but they are the most aware people I've even known. They know themselves, they're aware of what's happening around them, and they're aware that they always have choices - choices in action, in attitude, in belief. They are more in control of themselves and their own walk through the world because they accept responsibility and take control, not of other people or events outside their reach, but of the things and events that are theirs to determine.

I was having this same conversation with one of my brothers last night when he reminded me of "The Serenity Prayer" (actually a shortened version of the original). Remember that little gem?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

In spite of showing up on countless bad greeting cards, that little triad remains one of the most valuable tools in life's utility belt. I'm going to be talking in more detail about the tools that help us make the climb to happiness, and this one is the big-daddy-if-you-don't-have-anything-else-reach-for-this-one super tool, the one that does it all.

Throw away the bus pass. Get up off the bench. Take the first steps toward a happy life. Walk with me and let's talk along the way. You're going to love the view!

Mr. Bill as Spiritual Guru

A series of commercials airing on TV here in the States has brought one of my favorite characters from the old Saturday Night Live series back into the spotlight. Mr. Bill, a hapless pile of clay with a talent for getting himself tossed about, is once again flying out of windows and onto windshields, his trademark, "Oh, noooooooo!" ringing across the airwaves.

The thing about Mr. Bill that kept us all laughing (besides the sheer slapstick genius of throwing a humanoid blog of playdough off a 30 story building, into a blender, under a bus...) is that, no matter how dire his situation, he always had a positive spin on it. No one is more cheerful, hopeful, and pragmatic than Mr. Bill! In the recent TV ads, Mr. Bill flies out a window and is splatted against a bus windshield. Does he cry? scream? rant? Nope! His "Oh, nooooooooooo!" is followed quickly by, "Hey, the bus is right on time!"

And that, my friends, is why I'm making Mr. Bill one of my personal spiritual gurus. You see, Mr. Bill has figured out that one of the keys to happiness is assessing your situation and making the most of it...and sometimes that means just being happy that the bus is on time.

S*it happens to all of us, and if personal crappy events aren't enough, there's plenty of global crap to go around. Happiness doesn't mean you aren't aware of the puddle of yuck we're all wading through. Mr. Bill is well aware he's flying out a window and more than aware he's just hit the windshield of a moving bus. But he keeps finding ways to be happy.

Bill knows that the key is not just knowing what's happening, but knowing what you can do about it and what you can't. More importantly, he knows that he has choices - not necessarily about what's happening around or to him, but always about how he chooses to react. So you're face down on the windshield? That sucks. What can you do about it? Not much...except decide how you will react. Cry, moan, declare it unfair... or check the time and be glad the bus is on schedule.

Yes, I know life is not an SNL skit (though, gads, sometimes the skits are truer than life)...and I know that the windshields we hit as we fly through this life are bigger, badder, and bloodier than Mr. Bill's moving bus...and I still stand by the principle. Whatever is happening to me, my course of action is clear:
1. Assess the situation - face what's happening full-on, no denial allowed;
2. Assess my options - what can I do about what's happening? No shirking and no fantasy...just the facts.
3. ACT! If there is something I can do to make my situation better, get the lead out (or the fear, the stubborness, or anything else that's holding me back) and do it.
4. Choose my reaction - Decide if I want to wallow in self-pity, writhe in agony, burn with resentment, poison myself with anger...or choose to focus on what is actually good for me, not because I don't know bad s*it has happened, but because I don't want to wallow, writhe, burn, or die a slow death from toxic rage.

It's that simple. Like Mr. Bill, I choose to be happy. There's more to happiness, of course...but Mr. Bill is an excellent guide to one of the key components of a happy life. Am I going to waste a lesson like that? Oh, noooooooooooo!

Yes, Mark Morford...Yes!

My favorite sarcastic, funny, run-on-sentence-of-death journalist, Mark Morford, has done it again and this time, he's done it beautifully!

On the heels of the viral proliferation on YouTube of Sarah Palin being annointed as a witch hunter by Kenyan priest Thomas Muthee, Mark's latest includes a fond recollection of being scared poo-less as a child by stories of witches. More importantly, his article reveals how his life now is enriched by the real witches he knows and loves. And even though he's no fan of Sarah Palin (or John McCain, but let's not digress), he manages to feel true empathy - maybe even sympathy - that she has now been protected from and annointed to fight this beautiful path and thus will probably never know the true joys thereof.

I'm always amazed at the number of people who, on learning what witches really are and what they most certainly are not, prefer to cling to their childhood fantasies of evil old hags and wicked, baby-roasting, orgy-wallowing, depraved madness. Why, when faced with, A) a true depiction of normal people pursuing timeless knowledge on a spiritual path of personal accountability and responsibility, or B) a false but miserable, scary something that gives you the creeps just to think about, would anyone want to believe option B? That's kind of creepy in itself, don't you think?

So...check out Mark's article. If you're a witch, read it with glee and do a happy dance. If you're not a witch but you know and love one (or more), send them the article and a, "Go, you!" note. If witches scare you or piss you off, read it and learn something.

I'm going back to my happy dancing now.